Where have we been?
- Erica McIlquham
- Jul 6, 2017
- 3 min read
Hi friends!!
When I logged into my account to write a post today I noticed my last published post was OVER a month ago! I thought it had only been 3 weeks or so (#momBRAIN) ?! Wow.
We've been a little bit busy! Nora + I went to Newfoundland for about two weeks earlier in June to visit with family and to celebrate my Grandmother's 80th birthday! Nora got to meet her Great-Grandparents and we had a wonderful time hanging out with family and exploring! I was nervous to fly with her because she is so active and although the flights were not relaxing ... she handled it really well! Fought sleep a bit because she loved people watching and on each of the landings her ears hurt (translate: she cried) - but those would be my only complaints! I'm happy to have a few flights under our belt now!
When we returned from Newfoundland Nora and I came home to #YGK, I dropped her off with her Daddy and then headed back to the city for a friends wedding! Got home from that - had out next Real Moms of YGK event (which ROCKED + lots of emotion going on there too), hosted a baby shower anddddd.. I think that's it.
Since all of that we have been home, catching up on sleep, enjoying #ygk and celebrating Canada Day!
Fast forward to today and in a few short days I am heading back to work and having ALL THE FEELS. Nora turns ONE on Monday. Wow. I honestly thought that when it came time for my parental leave to end that I would feel 120% ready to return to work. As I sit and type this I know it will be fine. I know when I get back it will feel like I never left. But I cannot seem to get over the emotions I am having about not spending my days with her. My tears are hitting the keyboard as I write this. I fear for what I will miss. I fear for how she will feel. I fear for how I will feel. I fear for making sure that at the end of the day I have enough left in my energy bank to make our few short hours together each evening count. I could go on. Every month that goes by Nora and I have bonded more. In the last month she has changed drastically into this enthusiastic, full of personality toddler and it breaks my heart that I won't get to observe her change and grow and discover as much as I have this past year. Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful for this past year. But it doesn't make this change any easier.
I have been trying to enjoy each day with her that we have until Monday, be in the moment, but when she goes down for her nap or to bed at the end of the night I can't but help feeling emotional, sad, anxious and also proud.
In the last month she has come from wearing some sized 3-6 month clothing to FULLY filling out her 12-18 month stuff. She swims in the pool with a vengeance. She has discovered a new love for blueberries and grapes. She's sleeping a ton (I bet to accommodate the growing). And she says UH-OH a heck of a lot. I love every second of it.
I type this thanking the universe and my husband for making me a Mom. For the gift of raising my sweet girl. And for the strength to help us both celebrate surviving the last year + to get through my most challenging journey in Motherhood thus far- returning to the "old" me.
I'm sure that I will share more on this topic. But for now, I'm off to get her from her crib and enjoy the summer sunshine with my gal.
xo
The #YGK Mom
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