What my first Mother's Day made me realize....

Good morning!

Yesterday's was my first official Mother's Day. I told myself that I was going to let go of responsibility, to try to relax and to just enjoy the day. I wouldn't say I am a demanding person in terms birthdays or other holidays. When I was thinking about Mother's Day I thought of the last 10 months, being home full time with Sweet Pea. It's constant care for her, for our house and just taking care of our family in general and some weeks it can be exhausting. Literally, on a weekly basis someone will ask me how I get everything done that I get done. So, I thought to myself- why not embrace this day? I NEED it.

I had grand thoughts about how I wanted to do some exercise (alone), get a pedicure or manicure (or both) and hopefully come home to a clean house (that I didn't have to clean).

None of those things happened. And that's okay too.

I got to sleep in. I had some "away" time having lunch & doing some shopping with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. My husband cooked me an amazing dinner. And I got some nice Nora time ... without having to do any of the diaper changes, feeding, bedtime routine, etc. It was SO lovely.

So now I get to the point of me writing this. Regardless of all of my intentions, wishes and what actually happened yesterday - ALL.DAY.LONG I had to keep reminding myself to CHILL and to not feel guilty.

Seeing the laundry pile .... the guilt.

Seeing the cleaning needing to be done.... the guilt.

Seeing the dishes piling up in the sink.... the guilt.

Seeing my husband take care of Nora and not offering to help..... the guilt.

Out having a cocktail at lunchtime and thinking about Ben + Nora at home.... the guilt.

Looking at my watch and feeling bad for being "out" for more than an hour.... the guilt.

I had to keep reminding myself to NOT feel guilty, to let Ben take ownership, to just freakin' RELAX. And it was HARD! Do ya feel me?

Waking up this morning Mother's Day has taught me a lesson and made me seriously think about my self care. I know that I'm not even terrible at leaving Nora to go and do something (gotta do what you gotta do) .... but regardless, the whole time I am gone I still get that guilt creeping in. Will doing more acts of self care help me rid these feelings and get me used to it? Or, will these feelings of guilt always creep in? I can't imagine if I were someone who had a harder time leaving my baby, how I would feel. If you are one of those people and you are reading this, I seriously FEEL you.

Waking up this morning I feel refreshed, rested and ready to take on everything above that didn't get done yesterday. BUT feeling this way has also made me think about how, just maybe, I should be adding myself to that to do list more than I do. I think today I will be attempting to treat Mother's Day as my "New Year" and will begin thinking about ways that I can incorporate self care into my weekly schedule.

Do you schedule self care? For me, I think it what I need might even be different every week. Sometimes dinner with friends, sometimes a run by myself, sometimes a cocktail at noon... What does self care look like for you?

All the feels this Monday morning...

xo

The YGK Mom

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