Five Editions of "Mom Guilt"

Hi friends!

I've got a serious case of "mom guilt" today. You know when you have one of "those" days? If you are a mom or not a mom I'm sure you have days where you are generally more critical of yourself. This week I've had a few things happen and when I woke up today I am feeling generally guilty - for both my thoughts and for some of my actions. Heck, it's not even 9am as I write this and the guilt is real.

I'm all about real talk, my life is not perfect in any way, shape or form. I have great days and weeks and bad days and weeks. Sometimes I feel like I'm nailing and it and sometimes I feel like I'm failing. I am who I am and my feelings are real and they are what make me, me. I hope you can relate.

I'm going to break down my morning for you into the five types of mom guilt that I frequently feel and how I happened to feel all bloody five of them before 9am today...

1. "Mom Guilt" Mommy Edition

The first type of "Mom Guilt" that kicked in this morning was all about me. I haven't had a full day off from being a mom in a long time and today when I opened my eyes I really could have used that day off. I wished I could trade spots with my husband who was going to work... I didn't want to unzip her sleep sack one more time, I didn't want to wipe down her high chair again, I didn't want to change another diaper .... I wanted to shower, get dressed and just grab a coffee, maybe blog, call a few friends to catch up, work on a passion project or two... anything. Even as I write this I feel guilty. I only get the year of maternity leave home with Nora and as I write this saying that I need a day off makes me feel awful, because I know when I go back to work, I will miss being home like crazy. So there it is ladies and gentlemen and why it's even one of my guilt "categories" .... because I feel bad to feel the way I do. Despite the feelings, I don't get a break and I'm sure Nora and I will have a lovely day together and I will still give her ten thousand kisses .... but first thing this morning, I found myself day dreaming about a day alone. Ya hear me?

2. "Mom Guilt" Baby Mood Edition

The next type of "Mom Guilt" that kicked in today was all about Nora's mood. As a parent when your baby is "off" you feel terrible. She's been teething for the last few days and has been really grumpy and I feel awful for her. It's true what people say about the moods of those around you really affecting your well being. Even when my little babe is feeling grumpy I find it has an affect on me. So because she has been grumpy and I know a lot of it is because of teething, I still can't help but feel this underlying guilt that somehow I should be able to fix it. I know, it's probably out of my control and just supporting her is all I can do.... but MAN, that guilt still found me.

3. "Mom Guilt" Mommy & Me Activity Edition

I've been super busy lately and because of that I haven't been getting to the pool or to the library with Nora. Today the guilt set in on this. I know you are probably reading this and thinking, well if you feel guilty- do something about it!- and YES, I will. But today, I had to weigh my options. Because of Nora's teething she's been sleeping a lot more AND because I've been super busy for the last # of weeks she has been on zero routine. This week I've been trying to keep her on a routine (mom guilt). The dang pool and dang library programs are both during her nap time .... so I had to make a decision to either let her sleep or to take her out. I decided sleep made more sense today. Regardless, I feel terrible for not taking her to any of the programs lately and I am going to do something about it soon. I want to make sure we are taking advantage of opportunities like this while I am off. But today, I think regardless of my choice the guilt was still going to get me - either way.

4. "Mom Guilt" Technology Edition

Phones, social media, computers, television .... they surround us! I am a big believer that our children are going to grow up surrounded by these things so keeping them away from them isn't going to matter - it's how we teach them balance and using technology responsibly. This morning I felt the guilt seep in when a friend sent me a text message and I was replying while playing with Nora and she lost her balance, tipped over and started crying. GAH. Horrible. Mom Guilt.. technology edition.

5. "Mom Guilt" Spousal Edition

Co-parenting is hard. It's a relationship game changer. Every day I feel like Ben and I grow and change as a couple as we learn something new about being a family of three (four with our doggie). The guilt still seems to seep into this .... as I sit here thinking oh my gosh when is the last time we had a date night or had "fun" just the two of us. Nora goes to bed early so we typically hang out once she's gone to sleep but honestly, I can't say it's quality time. I'm often blogging, we are cleaning, cooking, doing outside chores (#farmlife), showering, laundry, Netflix --- you name it. I think we need to make more of an effort to have fun together and so I add that to my to-do list and tack on the guilt for not doing anything sooner.

I am sure as Nora grows the types of guilt I feel will change, or maybe they'll be the same but they will evolve. Regardless, the guilt is there and I don't think it will go away but it's how we manage it. What types of things do you feel guilty about? Do you find some days worse than others (like me)?

As for the managing the guilt today I am going to acknowledge it, decide whether it's valid and probably take Nora to get some fresh air and re-start our day once she is up from her nap. There are no rules. So I'll make my own.

xo

The #YGK Mom

Photo: Kaley Noel Photography

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