I didn't always want to be a mom...

Hi!

So writing this may not get the popular vote but it's something I have been thinking about for a while. I am writing this because I am sure there are women out there, like me, who may feel the same thing and if you are out there- this is for you.

I didn't always want to be a mom. There- I "said" it out loud.

You may think that's weird considering the name of my website. You may think it's weird based on what you thought of me from my photographs, my Insta-stories and any impressions you may have had about me from whatever source you know me through. I may not have always known I wanted to be a mom, but I didn't know that I didn't want to be one either. I was undecided - but leaning toward a "not want" most of the time.

Before I go any further I will tell you that since becoming a mom I couldn't imagine my life any other way and I FREAKIN' LOVE IT. Based on my unsureness pre-marriage and pregnancy I have actually surprised myself as to how much I have loved being a mom so far and how much it excites me for the rest of my journey with my sweet girl.

Back to my story - it's a bit of a weird one. I've always loved kids. Was a babysitter, worked in a daycare one summer, doted on my younger cousins. Had AMAZING mom role models from my mum and grandmothers. You get the picture. But still, for some reason, I never felt super confident that "momming" was for me.

Then I met Ben. As I sit here today reflecting on this I now believe that my not "wanting" to be a mom was due to two things. First being my romantic history- I had very little luck in the romance game until I met my now husband. Second being not really knowing what I wanted out of my life.

I had never really had luck in the romance department. I was never someone who had boyfriends young, didn't date a lot, etc. etc. Then I met Ben. Well I met Ben again. We had so many similarities, seemed to want similar things out of life and for the first time I could seriously picture getting married, staying married and even dreamt of potentially building a family together. The best part about it all was that Ben and I were so on the same page about so many things that it's always felt like we make those major decisions together. It wasn't one of us wanting something (kids) so much more than the other - we truly decided together that it was what we both wanted. I love that.

In terms of growing up- I think there are lots of different ways that people change. Some people know they want children from a very young age and this never changes- but they may grow and change in other ways. For me, part of my growing up was evolving how I envisioned my life and my future and ONE spectrum of that was evolving my view of what type of family I wanted to have.

As I've explained before on this blog - EVERYONE's journey in parenthood is SO different. This was/is my journey. I didn't always want to be a mom. That changed and I honestly FREAKIN' love it more than I thought I would. Before leaving work for my parental leave I would tell everyone - I don't know if I'll last the year. Now Nora is 8 months old and I am literally tearing up at the thought of her turning 1. Yes, I'm that parent. I'm proud of it and I am embracing it!

Motherhood found me and I'm so glad it did.

xo

The #YGK Mom

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