Fearing My Emotions

Hello out there!

"You're really emotional" and "you are sensitive", and other variations are two statements that I've heard since I was a young girl. They aren't lies, they are the truth and now as an adult women and as a mother I've learned to embrace those parts of me. But as a young girl and young woman I didn't always embrace them, I didn't' know how to "manage" my feelings and when people would say things like "you're really emotional" I would digest it negatively.

There is a 100% chance that my daughter will inherit some of my traits and as a new mom I've done so much thinking about how I want her to be self aware from a young age and how I want her to feel proud of her make-up, no matter what that might be.

I can say that over the last six months she has taught me a lot, without even knowing it.

There are times in the last year when being emotional and extremely sensitive has manifested itself in ways that I'm not as proud of. It's made me feel some form of the baby-blues. It's made me over-stress about my relationship with my husband post-baby.. not wanting to lose what we had before our beautiful baby girl came into our lives. It's made me not be able to handle my tears on days where I had zero sleep for weeks on end- a side I don't want Nora to always see because I want to give her the gift of a happy mom. It's made me have emotional breakdowns about not finding my "tribe" in Kingston as fast I wanted to and some days of feeling super lonely in our picture perfect farm house. Every day becomes a lesson in growth and self acceptance.

When I look at how I want my daughter to feel when she may be learning how to deal with those same emotions and anxieties, I think about times when my emotions have manifested into something positive. My extreme bond with her is one of them. My ability to show her that being sensitive can be a powerful thing, it makes you very aware of others emotions and the ability to be empathetic is truly a gift. In being emotional, and learning to express those emotions and communicate with others will allow her to be more self aware at a young age than I ever was growing up. The types of "feelings" that I have make the good times even better and the lower times even lower, but with reflection, being able to take those moments and turn them into experiences, lessons in life and to grow from them will hopefully be Nora's truth.

I'm the kind of person that when in a room with all of my best friends, or family.. I step aside and take it all in... it brings tears to my eyes (literally) in the moment of knowing we've all got each other no matter what life has thrown our way. I experience the moment with FULL and REAL emotion. And honestly, I hope that Nora will have "all the feels" in those situations like I do too. I will do my best to teach her how to manifest all of it in a positive way, to teach her that life is not all sunshine and rainbows- but that that's not a bad thing. It's life.

I used to fear my own emotions but I don't anymore and I want to make sure that Nora knows she doesn't have to either.

Today Bell Canada is bringing awareness to Mental Health through their #bellletstalk . Momming is hard, life is hard, growing up is hard. We have each other to learn from, to talk with and surrounding ourselves with people who help us live our truth is the key to a happy life.

Shine on friends. Have you struggled knowing you will pass on a trait to your children that you've struggled with yourself? Are you a super emotional person like me? Share your truth! I'm here. We're all in this together.

xo

The #YGK Mom

#mentalhealth #emotions #momlife #momblog #momdiaries #mombrain #motherhood #infant #raisingkids #kingston #bellletstalk